I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
