RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
