He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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