I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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