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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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