So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
