It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
