My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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