There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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