Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize