If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
