I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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