I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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