i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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