I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
