i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Randomize