Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
