I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
