I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
