Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize