4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
