I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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