No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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