We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
