the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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