i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
