that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
