Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am one with the molecules
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
