Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
