I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
