But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
