the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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