Rock
Scissors
Fuck
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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