New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
