ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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