I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
