She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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