Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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