totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize