what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
