I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
