Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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