We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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