omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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