I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
