I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
