I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
