We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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