Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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