he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize