Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
