Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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