wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
