Its about making memories worth repressing
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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