We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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