why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
