How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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