Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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