Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
