i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
