I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize