After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
