i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
